"All In The Name of Rock n' Roll"

Popstrology is supposedly "a revolutionary method for gaining self-knowledge by examining the alignment of the pop music charts at the moment of your birth."

According to this insightful new way of gaining a better understanding of oneself, I was born in the year of Rod Stewart. My birth star is Diana Ross and my birth song is "Love Hangover."

What does this all mean? Ian Van Tuyl says it means that . . .

Four score and seven years before the Gettysburg Address, the Founding Fathers brought forth a nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Two hundred years into the grand experiment, liberty was all the rage in the nation they had founded, but liberty from the burden of conceiving children was perhaps it most popular expression. "Don't you hesitate, my virgin child/Spread your wings and I'll come inside for a while." In Tonight's The Night, the year' s biggest hit, Rod Stewart the Lovelorn (think Maggie May) gave way officially to Rod Stewart the Lustful, cementing his membership in the constellation Shape-Shifter and marking those born in 1976 with his indelible love tattoo. But consider the interesting case of Barry Manilow, the year's Opposing Star and a man who could not have been created more unequal to Rod Stewart, but a man with his own animal charms. Perhaps it is his presence in the pop universe of 1976 that explains why the micro-generation born in that year may not necessarily express its rampant sexuality in the ways one normally expects. Particularly if they fall under the influence of the vehicular cryptosexuality of the year's Wildcard Star: the trucka-rap pioneer C. W. McCall.

Well, that explains it all doesn't it?!?!